There were many times he looked into your eyes. He will stare back at you. His hand on your cheeks and he carrasses them ever so softly. He looks so deep into your eyes. He tells you how so special you are to him, and how great you are.
He just wants to lift you up from your insecurities. He wants you to feel better about yourself. You have cried so many times to him, telling him how you think other girls are better than you. How you are not pretty like them, how they dress better than you and how they are so knowledgable in fashion and beauty. How they have a nice body- you have seen him admiring them oh so well. You want him to admire you the same way…
He looks into your eyes. He claims its so deep. He kisses your forehead and hugs you by your hips. He drags you closer to him and hold you, till you can hear his heartbeat. His warmth is so comfortable.
Then one day, he says you are not his cup of tea. He says he is disgusted by you. He said he was genuine but he cannot be with you. He says he loves you, he didnt lie. He says you are horrible.
And here you are standing, wondering how anything to be a lie. He said he looked deep into your eyes. You believed it even it wasnt sure. Every girl wants to be looked at like that.
He used to support you in dance, for gym and all the grooming workshops you attended. He used to say he is proud of you. He said he loves you.
And then you think to yourself why he tells you to stop everything. Why he tells you that you cannot be better than anyone, because there is always someone better than you. And why he didnt try to be anyone else to get you. But then, you see him liking other girls’ photos more consistently, no matter how much you tell him not to. It affects you. He doesnt bother.
But do you know? You deserve to be looked at deeper? Did you know that your soul will know it. Did you ever know that you can be held tighter? Did you ever know you deserve to hear his heartbeat even more prominantly. Do you know, that he can pinch your cheeks and tell you how beautiful you are, without looking at anyone else. Did you know that you will feel like you are the only one, without him even having to say it? He dont even have to say it.
And what kind of fellow is that, if he cant feel what you have sacrificed for him and blames you for everything. Even till the end, he called you back not to pull you back closer, but to push you away even more. He called you back to tell you how even more terrible you are and masks himself. He still wants to look good in front of you. Thats the point, he only wants to look good, not feel good or be good for you. Or for himself for that matter. He wants to be powerful. Let it be. You are weak? Let it be. The lion doesnt have to prove to the cat who is bigger.
So what did you think you lost? Hugs? Kisses? Warmth? I think by now you know you had had it all in you. Dont settle for less, you’ll thank me later. I love you.
So there is something in his eyes, wasnt it? Nothing. That was what’s inside his eyes.